주제별영작 교정샘플

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Topic:002 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Everybody have parents, and they learned many things in their home from born time till dying. In home, own parents are the best teachers. For one thing, parents teach their children various things that they need to in life. And then parents enormously have an influence on personality of their children. At first, parents are teachers to teach their children needed things in life. When they are so young, they can do nothing for themselves. At that time, parents help them many aspects such as eating, walking, sleeping, wearing and so on. They take to aids of parents and learn ways to do something like them. When they are adults, they show them right direction. Secondly, Parents affect personality making of their children. Children see their parents and learn their characters, habits, the way of speaking. According to a study, kids are largely
influenced on experience to have until five years old. They have liven with own parents in home until that time. Their parents teached them and had every experience with their kids. Those one make their important mental world. It will affect all time and control bottom of mind. And then, parents are the best teacher to their children. Finall, parents give birth to children and educate them for all life. While parents, the best
teacher in life, give away freely them essential and mental sides, their children can be a mature person.

<원어민 교사 교정후>
Topic: 002 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Everybody have has (ED: Everybody is a singular word, so a singular verb must follow) parents, and they learned many things in their home from born time till dying. In home who teach their child or children about many things at home while they are growing up (ED: from birth to death ?seems a little depressing to describe children), At home, own parents are the best teachers. For one thing First, parents teach their children various things that they need to in life in life, at the same time affecting their children’s personalities. And then parents enormously have an influence on personality of their children.
At first, parents are teachers to teach their children needed things in life. (ED: this was stated in the previous sentence.) When they children are so young infants, they can do nothing for themselves.
At that time, parents Here, parents help them many aspects such as with eating, walking, sleeping, wearing and so on. They take to aids of parents Children learn to and learn ways to do something like them copy their parents. When they are adults Even when children become adults, they still can not know evdo not know everything. Parents play a role like act as a lighthouse. They give us lessons, and they show them right direction., giving lessons and guiding them in the right direction.
Secondly, Parents Parents affect their children’s personality making of their children. Children see their parents and learn their learn to behave like their parents, displaying the same characters, habits, the way of speaking methods. According to a study, kids are largely greatly influenced on experience to have until five years old by the experiences they have until the age of five. They have lived with own parents in home until that time. Children usually live with their parents until this age. Their parents taught them and shared diverse experiences with their kids. Their parents teached them and had every experience with their kids. Those one make their important mental world These teachings and shared experiences mold children’s mental world. It will affect all time and control bottom of mind. And then, And since the shaping of children’s minds are first done by parents, parents are the best teacher to their children.
Finally, parents give birth to children and educate them for all their entire life. While When parents, the best teacher in life, give away freely them essential and mental sides, freely provide the essential and mental support, their children can be can grow up to become a mature person.