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Topic : 003 Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In modern time, most people work hard to improve themselves and live comfortable life. For them, they are very busy. Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare, and is help their like. I think that these foods are sure to improve the way people live. For this reason, it saves time, and help some people to poor cooking. Firstly, convenient food products let them saave times. Let's take the case of a Korean table making. In Korean table style, rice and soup is necessary. Moreover, at least four or five articles of diet have to add with them to prepare every meal. It'll take long time. If you prepare convenient food, you'll save needless times, and you can pet to practical use those. Secondly, these foods reduce problem of those unknown cooking. They always feel serious and nervous when cooking. Ill take the example of two children. Their parents are traveling in Europe.
In home, two children-one is a 12 years old, and the other is a 16tears old-remain for now. They have to go to school every morning. In this case, they have no time to prepare breakfast. They don't also know ways of cooking dinner. In that time, that foods can be good solution to them. At last, people can save spare time when they have no time. Besides, they may not starve although they don's cook meal. Because these food are invented, some people diliciously have from breakfast to dinner in modern time.

<원어민 교사 교정후>
Topic : 003 Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In modern time, most people work hard to improve develop themselves and live comfortable life lives. For them, they They are very busy . Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare, and it help their like.
I think that these foods are sure to easier foodmaking will surely improve the way people live.
For this reason, It It saves time and helps some people to poor cooking poor cookers.
(The question, I think, is food has become easier to prepare ? for example, use of stoves, microwaves, mixers etc. I don’t think the subject is convenient food products ? like frozen foods, and instant meals and so on. ?Please check)

Firstly ( ED: there is no word as ‘firstly’ only first), First, convenient food products letsaves time them save times. Let's take the case of a Korean table making. In Korean table For example, in a traditional Korean meal, style, rice and soup is are necessary. Moreover, essential along with at least four or five articles of diet have to add with them to prepare every meal side dishes. It'll take long time. To prepare such a meal, it takes a long time. However, if you prepare a meal with convenience foods, If you prepare convenient food, you'll save needless times, and you can pet to practical use those. one can save needless time spent at making meals and use the time to do other things.
Secondly Second, these convenience foods reduce problem of those unknown cooking. They always feel serious and nervous when cookin the anxieties of those who feel nervous when cooking. I'll take the example of two children. Their parents are traveling in Europe. In home, two children -one is a 12 years old, and the other is a 16 tears old- remain for now. Let’s take an example: parents are travelling in Europe and two children stay at home- one is 12 and the other is 16. They have to go off to school every morning. In this case, but they have no time to prepare breakfast and they do not know how to make dinner. They don't also know ways of cooking dinner. In that time, that foods can be good solution to them, but convenience foods can provide the answer to their problems.
At last, people People can save spare time when they have no time. Besides, they may not do not have to starve although they don't cook meal because they do not know how to cook. Because these food are invented, some people deliciously have from breakfast to dinner in modern time. Nowadays, people enjoy these delicious convenience foods for breakfast and dinner.



구성요소 (Component) 점수 (score)
1111문법 (Grammar) C
1111논리 (Logic) B
1111독창성 (Creativity) B
1111글의구성 (Plot) B
1111선생님 의견 (Teacher’s opinion) Overall, your ideas were well presented. Try to shorten your sentences. With a little more practice with grammar and sentence conciseness, your writing will surely improve.
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